The Dog Ate My Wallet

I finally get to use an excuse like that.

Last night, I lost my wallet at a friend’s house. She called this morning to tell me that it had been slaughtered and shredded apart at the seams by her shy of medium in size dog named, Crumb. The license was intact, except my picture had been eaten off. Credit cards are bent, yet she tells me they’re still useful. To top it off, the sprinklers went on while all the little bits of my papered insurance and identity were left to soak up the morning dew. It’s okay, though… Crumb had her day. I hope you enjoyed the taste of fine leather and pocket lint, Bitch.

Happy Monday!